There will be no wedding. Signs that a man won't marry you. Reasons why men refuse to marry After filing an application, a man refuses to get married

In 70% of cases between the ages of 21 and 30, men do not want to get married. It seems to them that they are still young, beautiful, attractive to the opposite sex, they can find someone better for themselves... Yes, and why hang a collar around your neck if you can get everything anyway: delicious food, fun time and sex.

A man owes a woman little, but in marriage there are a lot of “you should”, “this is necessary” and “this is necessary”. A man refuses to start a family because he is afraid of restrictions in his life, and therefore tries to avoid marriage, at least until a certain age.

Of course, there are exceptions when men themselves pull down the aisle. But such cases are very rare; a negative attitude towards marriage is more common among the majority of representatives of the opposite sex.

What to do if a man completely refuses to start a family? In this case, the woman has only three options: wait, put pressure and leave. Let's consider each option separately.

Is it worth waiting if a man does not offer his hand and heart?

Waiting is, of course, the feminine way - resignedly, calmly and sometimes in vain. A man will take advantage of your desire to please him and will not even notice that you are actually waiting. He will assume that you yourself are satisfied with this state of affairs. Therefore, you are unlikely to get quick results or any results at all.

By the way, not every woman can wait, first of all, due to her psychological mood - she wants to get married, she wants to have children, she wants to show off to her friends, in the end! With this attitude, a woman can wait no more than a year, since a “celibate” relationship only drives her deeper into the shackles of the desire to become the legal wife of her man.

It happens that a woman cannot wait due to physical circumstances, such as age. When you are on the threshold of 30 years, it is simply unthinkable to wait (and you don’t know what or how long). Such expectations can result in great losses in life. quite difficult, so at this age it is better not to delay solving such a difficult issue for men. But, if you have been dating for only one month, you don’t need to immediately rush at the man with the question - will you marry me? He'll just get scared and run away.

Of course, women who know how to wait are held in high esteem by men. The fact is that a man does not want to get married not because he does not love you, but because it is difficult for him to decide on such a serious step, and he needs time to get used to the idea of ​​marriage, prepare for the upcoming marital relationship and find out better than you. And women who hint at marriage almost on the first day of meeting arouse suspicion among men. A man begins to think that a woman just wants to get married, and it doesn’t matter who exactly. And he is just another candidate.

True, it is quite difficult to distinguish a man who is preparing for marriage from a man who is simply taking advantage of your ability to wait. Therefore, you should not delay it too much. A man may get used to the fact that you can wait, and he can have fun and live to the fullest, without burdening himself with family difficulties and worries.

What is the best way to put pressure if a man does not want to get married?

When a man doesn’t understand what you want from him, it’s not a sin to put pressure. Just be gentler, no need to shout from the door - I’ve decided we’re getting married! To apply pressure, there are peaceful negotiations, light hints and tough measures.

Peace negotiations Negotiations consist of a conversation with a loved one on the topic - maybe it’s time for us to start a family, after all... And then all the arguments for getting married are given: we will always be together, we will happily run a household, we will have children, and so on. Of course, the man will immediately tense up and perhaps even mutter something in response. Don't disturb him for a while, and then start a conversation on this topic again. When a man cools down and thinks things over, he will be able to realize the significance of such a step both for himself and for you. Light hints

This method, such as light hints, can also be effective, but only for men who can hear and see them. The fact is that usually representatives of the stronger half of humanity do not know how to distinguish between them. Such people need to speak only head-on; only the “peaceful negotiations” style described above is suitable for them.

If you are lucky and your man can distinguish a hint from simple female chatter, then it would be a sin not to take advantage of it! Ask your man a question - how many children would he like? When does he plan to start a family? How does he imagine his family life? If a man has a good sense of humor, then you can give him some suitable book publication - like “How to stop being afraid of marriage” or “Family is not scary.” Look on store shelves, you are sure to find something suitable.

Tough measures

If a man does not want to get married, then tough measures need to be taken only in extreme cases, when you love your man very much, and he also loves you very much, but for some reason still does not dare to propose to you. You’ve already hinted, and talked to him, and tried to wait, but just how long can you?

Also, tough measures are suitable if a man constantly comes up with reasons why it is better to postpone marriage - he still earns little, does not yet have housing, is not well off... This indicates a man’s low self-esteem, he wants to be the best for you, but how can he may become the best if he suddenly doesn’t have enough money for you, if he can’t make you happy.

If conversations don't produce results, then it's time to put pressure. For this, women have one great way - to get pregnant. Then your man will stop weighing the pros and cons and even propose marriage himself. Here, however, the main thing is not to run into those who honestly gave up on you, and were not just afraid to lose face. The risk is great, remember this!

When should you let go of a relationship?

Sometimes there are cases when it is useless to wait or convince someone of something. If a man doesn’t want to get married, he has fun in bars, disappears somewhere until the morning and only sometimes pays attention to you. Think about it, do you need it? Do you need such a family? You may be able to tie a man with a child, but you still won’t feel love. Do not think that a man will become better after registering a marriage, he can only get worse or remain the same. Therefore, you should not entertain yourself with empty hopes. If you see that this person is completely unprepared for marriage, and you are not ready to wait for him, then feel free to leave - and create a new relationship in which you will be valued, desired and, finally, invited to marry.

Nowadays there are a lot of men who refuse to enter into legal marriage. Statistics show that the age of men getting married has increased by 10 years. Nowadays, on average, men are ready to enter into a serious relationship at 30-35 years old. Psychologists even managed to coin a new term for such men – anti-marriage syndrome.

Before looking for the answer to the question a man doesn’t want to marry, what to do, let’s look at several types of men who, according to psychologists, may never marry a woman.

A man doesn’t want to get married, what to do - types of men who are afraid of marriage

Nowadays, a stamp in a passport no longer gives any guarantee that your chosen one will be with you all his life. Women, just like men, prefer civil marriage, that is, cohabitation. However, this trend is much less noticeable among women. Let's find out if your man belongs to the typology below of men who do not want to get married.
“A man doesn’t want to get married, what should I do?”

Type 1 of men – life is an adventure

People call such men revelers. His need for a family comes last. Such men do not establish strong connections with women, they do not become attached to places and people. The decision not to get married is made consciously. The word routine and everyday life scares him. Such men believe that the family will not give them anything new. And the thought of life with one single girl does not inspire them to run to the registry office. And children, in general, will not inspire them to take this step either.

These men are very insidious, they attract women to themselves with their strength and independence. But they need a lot of freedom and personal space. With close communication, it becomes clear that they are egoists who rely only on their own strengths.

You will not be able to re-educate such a man, especially if he is not yet 40 years old. Perhaps by the age of 50 he will understand that it would be nice to start a family.

Type 2 of men - disappointed

This man has a negative experience of starting a family, and is afraid to step on the same rake again. He developed a stereotype that a mark in a passport does not strengthen a marriage, but, on the contrary, spoils the relationship.

If you meet such a man, do not try to prove him otherwise. You don't owe him anything.

If you want to marry this particular man, you should let everything take its course. You will not be able to prove to him that you are better than your ex-wife and will not betray him. All you can do is surround him with your attention and love. But don’t wait forever; if he continues to refuse, give him a choice.

Type 3 of men - indecisive

This category is headed by all men who do not want to get married and are not included in the previous two. His condition suggests that he is not completely convinced that you are the best woman in the world. He loves you, but something prevents him from making a choice in your favor. Perhaps he is afraid of missing out on something better.

In such a situation, 2-3 years of relationship is enough for this type of man to decide. If the years go by and a man does not want to get married, it means that he is afraid to take responsibility for your happiness together. Reasons like we don’t have money for a wedding right now or we need to buy an apartment first are all excuses.

A man doesn’t want to get married, what to do - What are men who don’t want to get married afraid of?

« The man doesn't want to get married»

Why a man doesn’t want to get married, avoids talking about the wedding - every girl needs to know this in order to get married successfully .

According to psychologists, there are 3 main reasons why a man does not want to get married.

First reason– this is the fear of leaving a free bachelor life forever. A man, weighing all the pros and cons of marriage, comes to the conclusion that he does not want to give up night fishing with friends, communicating with them for the sake of a washed shirt, clean underwear and regular meals. Give your man the confidence that you are not going to take away all his dreams, time and interests. Perhaps after this conversation, you will hear the cherished proposal.

The second reason– this is the fear of losing financial sovereignty. A man does not want to get married because he is not happy with control, much less control of his salary. Maybe you are too often interested in the financial side of your life together. For a woman in this situation, the right decision will be to achieve financial independence from a man. This will help the financial issue not become a subject that influences the man not to want to get married.

Third reason– negative past experience. If your man had a lady (mother, grandmother, neighbor, first love) who negatively influenced his life, then his reluctance to marry seems quite logical. The man is afraid to step into the same river a second time. As a rule, such men have low self-esteem and a high degree of self-doubt. In this situation, there may be a second reason for the fear of marriage; he is sure that no relationship can surpass the past (as a rule, the so-called “mama’s boys” have such fears). This is a difficult case that requires working through all the accumulated fears and anxieties of a man (with the help of a specialist).

What other reasons could there be why a man does not want to get married?

The reason is you. Perhaps you are too categorical in your statements, criticize his achievements or say offensive phrases. A man may not show that you have offended him, but he will also not be in a hurry to propose to you. Watch your statements. Use the “I” message in conversations (“I feel that...” “I’m worried that...” rather than “you should and must...”)
You are asking the impossible from a man. You lack attention, you demand it, and the man begins to avoid you. Learn to feel the golden edge that does not alienate a man. The man himself must want to get closer. Our girls, seeing a guy, decide that he will be their husband, and begin to actively pursue and woo him. But a man wants to make decisions himself - this is inherent in him by nature.
The third option is when a man does everything for the sake of a woman, but she begins to demand an offer from him. The girl seems to suit him, the only thing that becomes an obstacle is that he has lost the opportunity to win her. And all because she starts any conversation with the words: “when will we get married?” He will continue to defend his right to manhood.
The reason why a man does not want to get married may be a contradiction like “I want to propose to her, but I can’t.” This may be due to a certain faith, nationality, parental rules.

A man doesn’t want to get married, what to do - how to push a man towards marriage?

« The man doesn't propose marriage»

According to statistics, the most favorable period for a proposal is a proposal made 1 – 2.5 years into a joint relationship. Why? Psychologists say that this is the most favorable time to get married. The likelihood of a strong union increases. The couple already has information about the partner’s habits, norms of behavior and enough passion to solve joint problems.

If you have just met a man and are already planning a wedding, it is unlikely that you will have time to get to know him in various life situations. In the future, due to such haste, conflicts arise among couples.

It is more likely that a marriage proposal will occur in couples who have not lived together. If a couple has experience living together, the man will not rush to the registry office, because he already receives all the delights of living together and painting does not stimulate him.

There are other cases when a man is not ready for intimacy. The woman begins to gradually move towards him herself. Inadvertently leaves a toothbrush, a sweater, jeans, cosmetics... This option can work and the man will ask you to marry him.

But if you do not live in the same territory, and this continues for more than one year, and conversations about marriage are not accepted by the man, then the man does not expect a long life together with you.

To push him to take this step, you should ask the question: “how do you see yourself after three years?” If he starts talking only about himself, and doesn’t even remember you, then ask another question: “If I understand correctly, I’m not there? I'm not putting any pressure on you, but I'm worried about my future and I need to think about it too. Of course, this is the business of each of us.” Calmly clarifying the situation will not ruin your relationship if the man takes you seriously. If he is playing for time and refuses to specify the situation on his part, you probably won’t get anything from him. Remember that years fly by quickly and if you realize that you want a family and children, do not hesitate to find out what plans your other half has for you. Otherwise, you may be left with nothing.

How else can you push a man who doesn’t want to propose marriage? You can move him away from you a little, start spending more time on yourself and your hobbies. Perhaps the man’s anxiety will push him to do this. If he is serious, he will be ready to do anything to keep you with him.

When a man does not show interest in marriage, but does not leave, you should try to take a wait-and-see approach. We have already said that a man is ready for marriage closer to 30 - 40 years old. If you put pressure on him and demand, he, of course, can and will agree to the marriage, but will it be his decision and why do you need such a marriage.

A man doesn’t want to get married, what to do - psychology

The dream of marrying an ideal life partner is often destroyed due to the partner’s reluctance to tie the knot. Psychologists have noted the most common reasons for men’s refusal to rush to legitimize relationships.

Often the fairer sex does not understand what is wrong with them. They try to please their lover, but he doesn’t seem to see the efforts, doesn’t understand the hints, or even “runs” from a serious relationship. There can be many reasons. Before blaming yourself, tormented by doubts and lowering your own self-esteem, analyze your man’s behavior. Perhaps it's not all about you.

Reasons why a man refuses to marry

1. One of the obvious reasons for reluctance to get married is the presence of a legal spouse. Before starting a relationship with the man you like, find out whether he is single or is hiding the fact of his marital status from you.

2. It is possible that you are a “backup option” for your man. The behavior of such a man will be different from someone who is head over heels in love with you. A man can disappear for no apparent reason. And then suddenly appear in your life again as if nothing had happened.

3. Your lover may not want to get married because he is raising funds to buy, for example, a new car. His priorities at the moment are somewhat different from yours, so there is no point in putting pressure on him. Perhaps the next step will be a marriage proposal, or perhaps he will find a new goal for himself that will not be associated with a new marital status for you.

4. It is possible that the refusal to marry you depends on your behavior. Maybe. You go too far, behave hysterically, or otherwise scare your companion away from taking further responsible steps. Reconsider your behavior so that your chosen one is confident in your adequacy.

5. A common reason may be the lack of the necessary amount of money. In this case, you should rejoice at the integrity of your chosen one. If you don't intend to end your relationship with him, you can support him on his path to making his first million. Remember that not everyone was originally rich. Perhaps your joint efforts will lead to the establishment of a budget and a further long-awaited wedding.

6. It is possible that your chosen one is simply not ready for a serious relationship. In his past there may have been a family that fell apart. Give him time to restore his peace of mind and don’t put pressure on him with your irrepressible desire to “drag” him into the wedding palace.

7. Another common reason is that he simply does not want to get married. Your man may be an avid gambling addict. Reconsider your relationship. Perhaps your role in the relationship is the care and guardianship of the boy, but not the husband.

8. Another reason. Which psychologists have identified through numerous tests and surveys is a man’s reluctance to part with his freedom. Your chosen one may simply not have come to the conclusion that it’s time for him to settle down. He likes the freedom of choice and meeting friends. He may simply not need to commit himself to a serious relationship in order to be attached to one person. His personal scales tip towards independence.

9. If your chosen one knows your parents, then he may be disgusted by the desire to become an exemplary son-in-law. Especially if your relatives hint or directly tell him about the desire to make your man an assistant in dacha and other work. Not everyone is ready to sacrifice their vision of the world for the sake of “digging beds in the country.”

10. the reason may be the influence of friends who do not want to lose sight of your man. Either your chosen one values ​​friendship too much and is not ready to sacrifice it for you. It is possible that you are too actively trying to “remake” him, and this is associated with an active reluctance to start a family.

11. The cause may be simple irritation. Your man is not ready for a joint relationship, and he does not like the fact that you spend 24 hours a day in his house. It is possible that it is simply difficult for him to dramatically change his lifestyle and give up his habits in favor of your pressure and desire to “drag” him to the registry office.

12. Psychologists note that the reluctance of men to marry may be associated with a number of mental problems. Your chosen one may be a sociopath or an introvert. He simply doesn't need a lot of communication and is used to living alone. The fact that you have been let into a closed and alienated world does not mean that you will soon be able to try on a wedding dress.

13. Conclusions about your culinary abilities may lead your chosen one to think that it is too early for you to start a family. It is possible that he is simply afraid to try your “masterpieces”, and also does not want to offend you and your efforts.

14. A fairly common reason for refusing to get married is a man’s love of order. Yes, yes, not all of them are used to throwing away clothes and leaving dishes in the sink after dinner. So if you have the sins of throwing things around or leaving a mug of drink in the most unexpected places, then don’t expect approval from your partner. As well as marriage proposals.

15. They don't like you. Reconsider your relationship. If your partner is affectionate with you, compliments you and behaves like a real gentleman, then this is commendable. However, he may not say the three important words that you expect from him. “I love you” - this phrase is the reason for the continuation of the relationship. If this doesn't happen, then something is going wrong in your relationship.

Don’t forget that women’s tricks will help you “bewitch” a man and lead him to the decision you need. However, you yourself will have to change for the better, because happiness in the family is the merit of both partners, who are ready to sacrifice something for mutual agreement and understanding. We wish you happiness in your personal life, and do not forget to press the buttons and

How to recognize a man who is not going to marry you? Family psychologist, interpersonal relationship consultant, director of the dating agency “Me and You” Elena Kuznetsova tells the story.

Eternal bachelor

There is practically no chance for a confirmed bachelor - men aged 40 years and older who have not had long-term relationships with girls fit this definition. Such men are simply afraid to enter into a serious relationship, because over a long period of living alone they have formed their own habits and value peace and quiet. And a woman is always a problem, therefore, choosing between the prospect of dying alone and the comfort already created, a bachelor in 99% of cases will choose the second option.

Long meetings

A woman should suspect something is wrong in a relationship if the man has not proposed to her within a year of their romance. In the future, you will most likely be given either a relationship or a guest relationship.

“There is an opinion that if people have not gotten married within a year (maximum three years), then there is little chance of marriage. Well, or a woman will have to work very hard to drag her beloved to the registry office,” notes Kuznetsova.

She also says that with a civil marriage there is a possibility in the future, but there must be a good reason for this, some kind of common project: joint purchase of an apartment with a mortgage, the birth of a child, and so on.

Avoiding Wedding Talk

A man doesn’t really need to register a relationship; he’s afraid of obligations and is only willing to put a stamp in his passport. So the lady must “drag” the man into marriage - she is more interested in this. If a man avoids conversations about legitimizing the relationship in every possible way, then this is a reason to think about the fact that he is not going to marry you.

“There is such a pattern in psychology: the first time a person may be mistaken in his judgments, but if he reacts similarly the second time, then this is a diagnosis. Therefore, when a woman says to a man for the first time: “I want to get married, marry me,” and he politely sends her away, all is not lost. But if she asks the same question a second time and again does not receive the desired answer, then, in principle, the lady has almost no chance of winning,” explains Kuznetsova.

A man, of course, can change his decision in the future, but there must be a good reason for this.

Dating your mother is not a guarantee of marriage

Among women, if a man introduces him to his mother, this indicates the seriousness of his intentions. In fact, this does not say anything and does not guarantee that in the future your loved one will offer you his hand and heart. Except for the situation when a mother once asked her son not to introduce her to all his girls, but only to the one he really intended to take down the aisle.

“To make the right conclusion, a girl must clearly find out which ones. If this is a respectful relationship, and there is the attitude described above, then meeting the parents is a really serious step on the part of the chosen one. And if since school he took all his young ladies to their mother, and she fed them buns, then you are just another “passing” option,” states the psychologist.

The same situation with friends, only even simpler. If, then the man will definitely introduce her to his friends to show off. Representatives of the opposite sex reason primitively: “The more cool girls I have, the cooler I am. Especially in the eyes of friends.”

Ideal development of the situation

When people first start dating, they are... Passions rage for up to six months. And if a man really likes a woman, usually during this period, he tries to “fence her around.” He says: “Let’s live together” or “I want to rent an apartment for you” or “Move in with me” or “Get a job with me.” That is, he does everything to ensure that his beloved is always nearby.

Helpful information

If no steps have been taken, then passions subside, and people continue to communicate much more calmly. This suits the man quite well. After a year of such a relationship, everything is already going as planned, and the representative of the stronger sex no longer sees the point in changing anything. So girls need to strike while the iron is hot.

If you have questions for psychologist Elena Kuznetsova, you can ask them by writing a letter to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected].

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It is difficult to describe all the emotions that the bride experiences if the groom suddenly abandoned the wedding. A psychologist will tell you why such situations arise and how to deal with them.

What to do if he changes his mind about getting married? When a young girl or mature woman comes to see me with this desperate question, I am frankly at a loss. How to tell the truth? How to explain to a person in a stressful state, experiencing a whole range of negative emotions, including anger, shame, and bewilderment, that he is very lucky?

As a rule, young people who back out a few steps before the desired wedding are really not ready for family life. The reasons may be different. Among them, the most banal is emotional immaturity. Family is a responsible matter. It is not created for fun and entertainment, but for completely different purposes. Therefore, refusing to marry in this case is the most useful action for a girl.

It will be much worse when after the wedding it suddenly turns out that the husband wants to sing, walk and have fun much more than to fuss with his child, and he has no idea at all that he should provide for his family financially.

The second reason for pre-nuptial hesitation is an innate inclination towards the life of a bachelor. Such men are responsible and capable of taking any burden on their shoulders. Another thing is that they don’t want it. They prefer to go through life lightly, not burdened with a wife and children. In marriage, they themselves will suffer, and their other half will suffer next to them. In my practice, such cases are not so rare. And the wife is beautiful, the children are wonderful, the husband seems to spend a lot of effort to provide the family with everything necessary, but there is no happiness in the family. Everything is wrong for him, he is not happy with everything, he sees shortcomings in everything. During the conversation, it turns out that the wedding was unplanned. The groom married under the pressure of certain circumstances. And the mother-in-law was very happy about her daughter-in-law, who was not quite suitable in terms of status, because her son was very fond of a wild, free life, and she seriously feared for his fate.

So it turns out that the breakdown of joint plans for the future is a gift for the ex-bride, since family life with such a man would bring her a lot of disappointments.

In addition to the above, the following reasons are also possible:

Intimophobia (a psychological problem in which a person is afraid of emotional closeness to others);

Objective reasons - when there really is not time (insufficient income, study, etc.).

I am often asked the question: “Is it worth continuing the relationship, because there was no outright breakup, the wedding was just postponed indefinitely?” The correct solution to this issue will be prompted by a sober analysis of the situation. If the bride and groom are seventeen or so, the reason is clear and does not lie in the area of ​​psychological problems (intimophobia, tendency to loneliness), the relationship is consistently good, there are no compelling reasons to part with your loved one. The wedding can wait.

If the couple is under thirty or over, and the man has a stable history (all previous relationships ended in breakup), the girl needs to seriously think about it.

Intimophobes and guys prone to loneliness will keep the bride in “waiting mode” all the time.

They are happy with everything anyway. They don't need a wedding or life together. Some of them still come to their senses at the age of 40. But not all of them and not always. In such cases, it makes sense to calmly discuss the situation, set the next, not too distant date for verification, and, if the wedding does not take place again, draw final conclusions. The biological clock is ticking inexorably fast.

What you can’t do is push things forward. Various tricks, scandals, ultimatums, feigning pregnancy may lead to a wedding, but the consequences will be very sad.

I talked about such cases above. A happy marriage is possible only with the conscious desire of two. No matter how painful and sad it is, you need to thank the person and move on. And remember, closed doors always open up new opportunities.